Day 59 | Erythema Nodosum

Leg Update

Erythema Nodosum - No, this is not a Harry Potter spell. It's spontaneous bruising of the legs. 

My (very long) appointment yesterday went well. No differential diagnosis for my legs. It looks like Erythema Nodosum. The red welts are looking more purple, more like bruises.

IV (again) and labs

They also gave my an IV for over an hour yesterday to get my veins ready for chemo and took some labs again, which looked good. Absolute lymphs are 1.2, which is better than when I started. 

What are all these things? The chemo suppresses white blood cell growth, causing white blood cells to die more quickly, and avoid replenishment. White blood cells are "disease catchers." Fewer white blood cells = higher risk infection. If WBC is too low, it  could be cause for hospitalization. 

Monocytes and Neutrophils: Monocytes replenishes Neutrophils. Neutrophils replenishes white blood cells. As my monocyte percentage is very high, Neutrophils and WBCs seem to be on the the rise.

Head Shaving

I still haven't shaved my head. My hair is still growing in parts and I don't really want it to grow patchy, making me continue to shave it. It's not uncomfortable, though I am still shedding a lot. I've also been a bit busy with this leg thing (ugh) the last few days. I'll probably get around to shaving it this weekend. Super bowl haircuts =) 

Day 58 | Legs Worse Today

Today, my legs are worse than yesterday. The doctors agree with my diagnosis (erythema nodosum), and said that I will be awarded a medical license at the end of this. They the welts are a possible reaction to the cholesterol meds, so I should stop those....which means, return of the tummy trouble.

They want to see me to make sure - I have an appointment this afternoon for a check up. 

This picture was last night, around 10PM. I have four new spots that appeared this morning. Again, they are raised bumps, hot to the touch, and feel like bruises. The spots don't itch, hurt a little, especially when standing. It actually feels like someone hit my legs with a bat. 

Largest spot:

All these side effects are annoying...hopefully, it means the chemo really attacking my cancer. The side effects are not stopping me from living a (mostly) normal life. 

• I'm doing yoga again - been twice in the last week. 
• Trying to walk three miles a day. Yesterday, we walked over four  - two to breakfast, then to the grocery, and home. 
• We are sous vide-ing - yesterday, lamb for lunch and the chicken for stir fry dinner. Currently, spare ribs are in the cooker. 

I'm avoiding crowds, especially when my counts are low. But, still doing things when I can. 

Overall, mostly normal. Just won't be breaking out a mini-skirt anytime soon. 

Day 57 | Tummy Settled, but Another Side Effect

Tummy (Somewhat) Settled

They started me on started cholestyramine Thursday, which is technically a cholesterol medicine. However, because of its effects on bile acid, it it sometimes prescribed as a treatment for IBS or things like it. 

It's a little gross - it comes in a chalk-like powder that you mix into water. It still tastes chalk-like.

....Regardless of taste, it's mostly working. My tummy feels more normal. Everything is still not in full working order, but I have a little appetite. And I can eat more than the 9 foods I was eating (Banana, White Rice, Applesauce, White Toast, White Pasta, Chicken Breast, Yogurt, Potato, Egg). 

Boring Meals - mostly chicken and white carbs:

New Meals - venturing out for salmon sushi and cooking chicken stir fry (both...with white rice) over the last few days. 

But Another Side Effect

Another day, another side effect. Yawn, I'm bored of this chemo stuff. Only 9 more weeks of active in treatment on Round 1.  

Yesterday, after yoga, I noticed red welts appearing down my leg. They feel like bruises, are hot to the touch, and range in size from .25 inches - 2 inches. I thought I bumped myself (I mean, it's quite possible), but about 10-15 appeared since the first spotting*. 

I've self diagnosed as erythema nodosum. "Erythema nodosum is a type of skin inflammation that is located in a part of the fatty layer of skin. Erythema nodosum results in reddish, painful, tender lumps most commonly located in the front of the legs below the knees." (WebMD)

The on call nurse today said I should go to urgent care if they move higher on my legs, which hasn't happened yet. I'll go to see the doctor tomorrow AM to see if my diagnosis was correct and what (if anything) we should do about it.

Here is an example:

*Yes, that was a pun. Couldn't help myself. 

Full Results of Tummy Test

I got the full results from my errrmmm...sample. Nothing's wrong with me other than chemo-ing. So, like I said about the c diff negative, good with the bad. Good that I don't have an infection. Bad that there's no imminent treatment. 

Thanks for reading - more later!!

Day 54 | Bye Bye Head Hair

Sitting at my desk today, and itched my head. I looked at my desk. 10 strands of hair. 

Itched again. More hair.

I guess clippers tomorrow. #eek

Day 53 | Some Tummy Relief and ....Hair Falling Out

Tummy Relief

The Zofran seems to be working a little bit, or maybe it's the Imodium, or maybe both. Yesterday was a good day, I felt really normal (which we're prizing as the best thing right now). This morning was a little rougher, but I'm hoping it's just a blip. 

I'm 8 days away from the next treatment. It's supposed to be easiest from here till then. Here's hoping that's true. I'd appreciate being able to eat some Mexican. Okay, maybe not Mexican. Maybe something other than white bread and plain pasta. ...Maybe just some fruit or a salad would be good. Mmmmm....salad. 

...Some Hair Falling Out

Welp, I'd prepped for my head hair to fall out. They said it was most typical 10-14 days after treatment. I even cut that cute little pixie, getting ready for it. I knew that my eye lashes and eye brows would fall out. I also knew body hair was a possibility. 

I just didn't expect it like this. The body hair is going first. I rub my fingers on my arms and all the little arm hair falls out. It's not like I'm hairy or anything, but I have hair on my arms and legs...or, had(?) hair there. 

It's a strange sensation how the hair falls out. It doesn't hurt, but you can pull out a lot of hairs at once....like pulling feathers from a pillow....without any pain. 

Anyway, head hair is holding strong. Hopefully it will last a few more days.

Day 51 | No C Diff

Results are back from c diff only. It's a no....While this is good, as c diff is hard to cure (and generally horribly unpleasant), it means that the tummy issues are chemo related.

Chemo attacks rapidly diving cells. This includes hair follicles, mouth, lips, stomach, GI tract, blood cells, and (hopefully) my type of cancer. 

This means it's just a side effect of the treatment. Not curable. They've put me on Zofran, which has a side effect of constipation. They are looking at other drugs that are okay for long term use that have similar side effects. There is talk of a cholesterol drug, even though my cholesterol is really good. (At least something still works.)

They asked me if I wanted to reduce my chemo treatment, back off because of the issues. I respectfully declined. I said that I'd rather have tummy issues for the rest of my life and HAVE my life than the alternative. The nurse said I should make that into a T-Shirt. 

So, that's that. Chemo hates my tummy. Hopefully it hates my cancer too and is killing the cancer faster than my stomach. 

Day 49 | WBC and tummy trouble

Adding a Day Count

I'm going to add a day count to all my blogs. I've seen it on other cancer blogs. I find it encouraging. I think, "she's lived with this for X Days." I hope that one day I can post Day 13209829013. Okay, that wasn't an exact science. It was me, pushing the keyboard numbers a lot...but, you get the point. Today is Day 50. 

I started Day 1 not at the lump finding day, November 19th, but the day of my biopsy, December 2. It was the day the doctor started talking about treatment options. The day she said double mastectomy. The day cancer didn't seem like something that only happened to other people. The day she told me she'd rush the results. (She later told me that she had a feeling about the lump....or maybe I dreamt that.) But, this was the day all this became real for me.  

I've lived 50 days past that day. And, that's a good thing. 

Tummy Trouble

Last night was bad. I barely slept. Was up every 25 minutes from 2AM - 6AM, when I gave up on sleeping. My stomach is really bothering me. 

So, I went to the doctor this morning. They are trying to identify what's wrong with me. They needed some samples...I'll leave of what to your imagination 😷 

On the table of things that could be wrong with me - 

• Rotavirus (gross)
• A different virus (ugh)
• C Diff (super gross, likely acquired in hospital)
• A parasite (double, triple gross)
• Chemo side effect (unlikely)

Hopefully it's something easily to treat. I should *hopefully* know the results before the weekend.

--

Lab Update

I also got labs done to ensure the tummy trouble wasn't blowing up my electrolytes. The electrolytes were A-OK, buy my blood counts have plummeted. ....I knew this was a side effect of chemo. I just didn't really think my it'd be this fast. They wanted to see where I was during the Nadir period, when counts are lowest. I am really a little floored at the change in 9 days. 

Here are my count variances. Feel free to google lavishly or reach out if you're not used to reading lab reports. 

I've seen (on other cancer blogs) WBC being as low as .1, so I don't think I'm too bad at this point, but given this is only the first of at least 16 treatments...I'm a little worried. 

--

I'll let you know later if I'm diagnosed with anything and if they can start an antibiotic or anti-parasite (barf) regiment. 

Day 47 | One Week out from Chemo R1

So, I'm a week out from chemo. It doesn't feel radically different than before treatment. I'm trying to lead my life as normally as possible. I'm working, actually going to the office every day feels good / normal. I'm out and about a little, I actually went to a hockey game last night. 

I'm sleeping more....but that's not a bad thing. Lights out around 10:30 isn't terrible. 

I read clinical trials instead of the news. And cancer blogs more than Facebook. I'm learning all the cancer words, which helps me understand the things I'm reading.

My only chemo-related issue is the lingering tummy trouble and occasional headache. I've never before talked this openly about my bodily functions. Now, a nurse calls me a few times a day to ask how all that's operating. I'm on a bland food diet called the BRAT (Bananas, Rice, Applesauce, Toast). ...It's the first time in forever that I've made myself white toast for breakfast with plain egg whites. (Usually, it would be egg whites, veggies, and lots of fruit). I'm drinking a ton - alternating water and coconut water / sports drinks, trying to keep up my hydration and electrolytes.  There are many questions about the color of my urine...which is uncomfortable.

I've entered the Nadir period, where your counts are the lowest. The Nadir period is 7-10 days post-chemo treatment. AKA, use ALL the hand sanitizer. You're supposed to avoid crowds / small children / animals / planes / other potential germ magnets during this time. So, that means couch time and fewer hugs. 

I still have my (newly short) hair. That's supposed to go between days 10-14. It's strange the amount of emphasis that patients put on their hair. It's one of the top worries of all cancer patients - losing their hair. I'll admit - I do miss playing with my long hair. I'm not looking forward to the idea of being bald for 8+ months, but it sure beats the alternative...so, I'll take my bald head with (hopefully) my life. The hair will grow back.

I really appreciate all the well wishes and thoughtful notes. I have some of the best family / friends on the planet. I will write a separate post on this later. 

So, that's all new with me. Leading a boring, white toast kind of week....which isn't all bad. 

We'll end with a chemo fun fact: 

While you're going through chemo, doctors and other cancer survivors call it "in treatment." They ask "Are you 'in treatment' right now?" And that means, are you actively receiving chemotherapy.  Thought you'd find that interesting.

What your friends with cancer want you to know (but are afraid to say)

Good article :) 

--

What your friends with cancer want you to know (but are afraid to say)

People with cancer are supposed to be heroic.

We fight a disease that terrifies everyone.

We are strong because we endure treatments that can feel worse than the actual malignancies.

We are brave because our lab tests come back with news we don’t want to hear.

 The reality of life with cancer is very different from the image we try to portray.

Our fight is simply a willingness to go through treatment because, frankly, the alternative sucks. Strength? We endure pain and sickness for the chance to feel normal down the road.  Brave? We build up an emotional tolerance and acceptance of things we can’t change. Faith kicks in to take care of the rest.

The truth is that if someone you love has cancer, they probably won’t be completely open about what they’re going through because they’re trying so hard to be strong.

However, if they could be truly honest and vulnerable, they would tell you:

1. Don’t wait on me to call you if I need anything.  Please call me every once in a while and set up a date and time to come over. I know you told me to call if I ever needed anything, but it’s weird asking others to spend time with me or help me with stuff I used to be able to do on my own. It makes me feel weak and needy, and I’m also afraid you’ll say “no.”

2. Let me experience real emotions. Even though cancer and its treatments can sometimes influence my outlook, I still have normal moods and feelings in response to life events. If I’m angry or upset, accept that something made me mad and don’t write it off as the disease. I need to experience and express real emotions and not have them minimized or brushed off.

3. Ask me “what’s up” rather than “how do you feel.” Let’s talk about life and what’s been happening rather than focusing on my illness.

4. Forgive me.  There will be times when the illness and its treatment make me “not myself.” I may be forgetful, abrupt or hurtful. None of this is deliberate. Please don’t take it personally, and please forgive me.

5. Just listen. I’m doing my very best to be brave and strong, but I have moments when I need to fall apart. Just listen and don’t offer solutions. A good cry releases a lot of stress and pressure for me.

6. Take pictures of us. I may fuss about a photo, but a snapshot of us can help get me through tough times.  A photo is a reminder that someone thinks I’m important and worth remembering. Don’t let me say “I don’t want you to remember me like this” when treatment leaves me bald or scarred.  This is me, who I am RIGHT NOW. Embrace the now with me.

7. I need a little time alone.  A few points ago I was talking about how much I need to spend time with you, and now I’m telling you to go away.  I love you, but sometimes I need a little solitude. It gives me the chance to take off the brave face I’ve been wearing too long, and the silence can be soothing.

8. My family needs friends. Parenting is hard enough when your body is healthy; it becomes even more challenging when you’re managing a cancer diagnosis with the day-to-day needs of your family. My children, who aren’t mature enough to understand what I’m going through, still need to go to school, do homework, play sports, and hang out with friends. Car-pooling and play dates are sanity-savers for me. Take my kids. Please.

My spouse could also benefit from a little time with friends. Grab lunch or play a round of golf together. I take comfort in knowing you care about the people I love.

9. I want you to reduce your cancer risk. I don’t want you to go through this. While some cancers strike out of the blue, many can be prevented with just a few lifestyle changes – stop smoking, lose extra weight, protect your skin from sun damage, and watch what you eat. Please go see a doctor for regular check-ups and demand follow-up whenever pain, bleeding or unusual lumps show up. Many people can live long and fulfilling lives if this disease is discovered in its early stages. I want you to have a long and fulfilling life.

10. Take nothing for granted. Enjoy the life you have right now. Take time to jump in puddles, hug the kids, and feel the wind on your face. Marvel at this amazing world God created, and thank Him for bringing us together.

While we may not be thankful for my cancer, we need to be grateful for the physicians and treatments that give me the chance to fight this thing. And if there ever comes a time when the treatments no longer work, please know that I will always be grateful for having lived my life with you in it. I hope you feel the same about me.

http://roadkillgoldfish.com/friends-cancer-want-know/

Kim Helminski Keller is a Dallas-based mom, wife, teacher and journalist. She is currently receiving treatment for thyroid cancer. 

Day 45 | Tummy Troubles and Back to Work

Well, the good couldn't last forever. Dealing with some tummy troubles that started yesterday, and followed me into today. 

Doctors are just saying to keep hydrated while his passes. Chicken soup and coconut water till then. 

Hopefully, this is the worst part, and it eases up from here.
4 I was feeling well enough to go back to work! (though working from home for the day...hope to be back in the office tomorrow) 

Day 43 of Cancer | No Longer Toxic

Pretty normal Saturday. Washed all the toxic chemo stuff. Bleached the bathroom of all toxic chemo stuff. Felt strong.

Had breakfast with my sisters and mother. Said goodbye to Anne. Didn't vomit or feel like vomiting.

Went to some shops, looking for hats. Head didn't hurt.

Cleaned out the closet. Wasn't too tired.

Sound boring?! Good!!! Normal is good for now. Boring is exciting.

Off steroids tomorrow. Hope I fare as well off the roids. 

Day 42 of Cancer | Stage 3C: What this Means

I talked to the doctor. She reassured me this is still beatable. It's aggressive, yes. More aggressive than they thought....but - they have me on the most aggressive treatment plan available right now.

No, I am not eligible for local clinical trials. Those are reserved for stage 4 patients. Yes, they will see if there are others around the US.

Yes, they will assay my tumor. No, it won't change what they are doing right now. Hopefully, the results won't change anything because it's just used for recurrence.

Yes, there are things I can do. I can work out 5-6h/w, even just walking. I can eat a healthy diet. I can drink less. Those things are proven to help lower recurrence rates.

No, they can't give me extra AC. The risk is too great to the heart. 4 doses is the max they do. The 12 week Taxol cycle (instead of 8w dose dense) is more effective on triple negative. Yes, it will be longer and probably more sucky.  But, better.

Bottom line. Yes, this is still beatable. There is a 22% chance the cancer will be beaten completely with this first round of chemo. The more aggressive the cancer, the more responsive it is to chemo. The Taxol works in a completely different way and should kill it if the AC doesn't.

Pity party over. Ready to try to beat this thing.

Day 42 | Re-Staged: 3C

Stage 3C. The stupid neck node came back malignant. No change in treatment plans, just a more aggressive type of cancer we have to fight. Hopefully, chemo will show this thing who's in charge. 

Day 41 | One Day After Chemo

I expected today to be bad. I expected to feel awful. To vomit. A lot. 

...but it hasn't been that bad.* I woke up with a terrible headache and body pain around 7am. I took a Tylenol, received my stomach shot (Lovonox), drank a big glass of water, and went back to bed till around 11am....Something I haven't done in forever.

Then, I felt pretty okay. My loving, wonderful mother made me some soup and a sandwich (Did I mention that I have the best mom ever? She's coming up to help take care of me during treatments.) Mom and I watched a movie, took a walk, went for a hair cut, made dinner, and went to bed around 7:30PM.

Hair Cuts

Getting my hair cut was pretty cathartic. It is supposed to fall out in 10-14 days. It was long. Too long really. So, I cut 10 inches off to donate it to Panteen Beautiful Lengths, who partners with the ACS. With hair this short, it should reduce some of the stress in having it fall out. 

But...As soon as I start to lose it, I'm going to Britney that s***. It's getting shaved off...I can then live up to my bald blog name.

So, for now, this is me. It will likely also be me in November. There will be less hair and more hats in between now and then. My boyfriend said it's good that I don't have a really weird shaped head. Glad he's so sappy. 

Chemo Learnz

*They told me that you don't really start getting sick till 3-4 days after your first treatment. With your nadir period (lowest blood counts) at days 7 - 10. You start to recover around day 10-14. Then, you feel okay for a few days...before they start chemo again. 

The chemo is supposed to build. It is poison. Oncologists are trying to kill everything inside you without killing you. As I said in an earlier post, chemo attacks rapidly dividing cells. But, chemo is dumb...and while killing cancer cells (that will hopefully not return), it also kills healthy rapidly dividing cells (that will return), typically those in blood/ mouth / stomach / bowel / hair follicles. 

You bounce back sooner earlier in treatment. Later in treatment, it's harder to recover because your counts aren't as high and your body is more full of poison. 

The break between AC and Taxol should really allow me to recover. 

Day 40 | Exhausting Day: First AC Chemo Treatment

Well, today was supposed to be hard. It was supposed to be the first day of chemo. It was supposed to start at 8 and end at 12.

But. Seems cancer is a life lesson in anti-planning.

The Biposy

Instead, today started with a 5:45am wake up call. We got to the James at 6:30am to be prepped for a 7:45am procedure - a core biopsy of the one potentially malignant big lymph node under my collar bone. They said they were going to put me under because of the location of the node and the sensitivity of the area. They told me I was NPO 12 hours before the "surgery" - nothing by mouth. 

(More details on the "why" in the last blog - A Lesson in Supraclavicular Lymph Nodes)

I strongly preferenced to NOT be sedated. ....Mo' anesthesia, mo' problems.  They said, "we'll see" until the doctor got there. She said, if you think you can handle being awake, that's fine by me! 

The radiologist was amazing. She specialized in head and neck cancer scans. (Sounds very specialized to me). She talked to me through the whole procedure. 

She told me that she wanted to take three core samples. From three holes this time. She said, if this were definitely NOT cancer, she wouldn't take a sample. If this were definitely cancer, she would only take one sample. This was in the grey area - maybe cancer. Maybe not. 

It wasn't pleasant, but it was pretty fast. She gave me a big band aid and sent me to "recovery."

Moving to Med Onc.

So, we left recovery, and headed to chemo. <<Fun Day!>> 

They took my blood....or tried to take my blood and couldn't get a good vein. So, several sticks later, they had a temporary shunt inserted in my hand.* It hurt. More than just owww, it hurt a lot. But! They were getting a good return, so I said to use it. 

I met with the doctor. She said some scary stuff about the biopsy, but some good stuff too - the good stuff was mostly that it could be just nothing. The scary stuff involved a lot more treatment and changing the plan. If you pray, please pray for good news Friday. 

Starting Chemo

They moved me to a semi-private room to scan in all the drugs they'd put in me. Since it was my first time, they moved me to a private room. (Seemed only polite). 

Emend and Aloxi

They started the drip - two anti-nausea meds into the hurt-y vein. Emend and Aloxi: Emend was benign - no pain; Aloxi burned the vein as it travelled up my arm. It took about 2 hours to get them both injected. 

Then, they decided that the burn-y vein wasn't good for the Adriamycin, because it's a vesicant.** So, they started the process of looking for a vein again. And after a few false sticks, were able to find a really good one....oddly, on the side of my thumb. 

Adrimycin

So, after about three or four hours of being at the doctor, they started the actual chemo! The Adriamycin is hand inserted in big tubes like this: 

There were three tubes, each took about 15 minutes to be injected. They test periodically to ensure that the line has good return. It can burn when injected, but it didn't burn me. The Adriamycin can cause mouth sores because it attacks rapidly dividing cells...cancer...but also cells found in the mouth, throat, and GI track (also why there is hair loss). To combat mouth sores, they try to "freeze" the mouth cells by letting you eat a million popsicles while they inject you. I think I ate 10.

Side note: Adrimycin also makes you pee red for a few days after chemo. They tell you this about 45 times. They must receive a lot of worried calls about why it's red. 

I'll write later about the full side effects from Adriamycin. Today is more mechanical. 

Cyotan

The next drug dripped was Cyotan. It can cause headaches as it is dripped, which occured on me. It felt like dry nose syndrome that went up into my head. Mine occurred 45 minutes into an hour long drip. They said next time they'd drip slower to reduce the headache. 

They flushed me with saline and I was allowed to leave. The headache only lasted around 15 minutes after they stopped the drip.

Oh, and I went to the bathroom. My pee was red.*** I wanted to tell the nurses and ask if it was normal, but after such a long day, I didn't know if they'd enjoy my dry sense of humor.

Chemo Learnz Section

*Note on vein use in chemo: I have a really good vein up by my elbow. I mean, not trying to brag too much, but it's a really good freaking vein. It's my go-to blood-giving vein. HOWEVER, in chemo, they start with lower veins and move their way up. This is for two reasons:

1. Chemo is poison and it blows up your veins. Many veins feed into my one awesome vein....so, by blowing it up, they'd remove the possibility of using any of the lower veins.
2. Even if they could use the lower veins, there's a chance the chemo could "leak" out of the upper vein.

**What is a vesicant? It is a chemical that causes extensive tissue damage and blistering if it escapes from the vein. The nurse or doctor who gives a vesicant drug like Doxorubicin must be carefully trained. If it leaks beyond the vein, it could be caustic to the skin. 

***Note on bodily fluids after chemo: Did you know that after chemo you're toxic for 48 hours? You are supposed to use a separate bathroom from anyone in the house. You have to close the lid and flush twice. You separate your clothes, they should be washed in hot water by themselves. There is no deep kissing. No one should wipe your tears. Or sweat. If you sweat in bed, you should wash the sheets...separately, in hot water. 

Day 39 | A Cancer Lesson: The Supraclavicular Lymph Nodes

Well...Taking the good with the bad 

In the (clear!) MRI of my spine, they saw a lymph node that needed extra scanning. Yesterday, I went to have more ultrasounds of my nodes. 

One of the nodes is 2cm. Anything over 1cm is considered suspicious for cancer, especially when it's positive in other nodes. 

It is possible this is a "nothing" swelling. They reviewed spine MRIs from 2015, and it seems there may(?) have been swelling in the same node back then...but they weren't MRI-ing my nodes. They were MRI-ing my spine. So, there isn't clear evidence one way or another.

Damn. What happens next?

So, before I start chemo, I will need another biopsy of the node in the supraclavicular region. Due to the location and size of the node, they will need to put me under again. Cue all the doctors. 

Wait, what the heck is the supraclavicular region?

It's the area above your clavicle.

So what if they found cancer there? No offense, but we already knew your lymph nodes were cancerous. 

While they found (and removed!) cancer in the axillary lymph nodes, finding cancer in other lymph nodes changes staging and possibly the prognosis and treatment. The overall impact on the: 

• Short-Term: It will likely not change anything in the short term (except pushing my first chemo treatment back a few days).
• Long-Term: They want to know if it's cancerous before starting treatment because it could/would change the long-term plan. A new plan may involve chemo, radiation, then chemo again. It may involve more surgery. We don't fully know yet how / if the bad node will change things. 
• Super Long-Term: The overall survival rate for stage three cancer was 77%, but that is from people that started treatment in the early 2000s. The survival rate for triple negative is a little lower than that of other types of breast cancer. ...but, there are NEW MEDS, NEW TREATMENTS every day.

Why do they need to know about your supraclavicular nodes now?

They want to identify the cancer now, before starting chemo, because chemo could shrink the node and/or rid it of cancer....which we all know is a good thing. However, they wouldn't know about where to radiate and/or if the area need targeted extra radiation. It's important to identify that now so they can get a clear idea of my overall treatment plan NOW, before I am cured forever :). Here is a good article on radiation for breast cancer.

What's next?

• If this node is cancerous, they will restage me at a 3C (more on node involvement and staging). Being a 3C sounds really bad (or worse than 2A or 3A). It's the last step before being a stage 4. ...But the cancer has not in the organs, bones, or lungs. This is still good news. 
• If the node is benign, they will start chemo sometime this week, and they will monitor the little/big node over time.

Let's not despair too much. It's possible that this is nothing. It's possible my anatomy is just wired to have one big lymph node in my supraclavicular region. Until we biopsy, we don't know. So, let's keep praying. I'll let you know as I know more.

Day 38 | Good news: Organs, Lungs, Bones are Clear

In great news...

Heard back from my oncologist. Looks like all the scans they did to see if the cancer has spread were NEGATIVE! I am clear in my ...

• Liver 
• Lungs
• Kidney 
• Pancreas
• Gull bladder
• Spine

This means that my stage 3A stands. 

In medium news....

There are some inflamed lymph nodes by my collar bone, but looks like they might have been there in past scans. So, they will ultrasound me before chemo starts. ...she thinks it is nothing, but better safe than sorry.

Overall, great news today!

Day 36 | Foodie Weekend: Chicago

On our way home from a foodie weekend in Chicago (last pre-chemo supper kind of weekend). We ate all the foods. Here is a small taste:

 Also, got to spend time with these lovely Krieger ladies...

Day 34 | The Strange Thing No One Tells You About Breast Cancer....

So, the weird thing I didn't know about breast cancer is that I FEEL FINE! Or, rather, prior to surgery, I felt fine.

With most things, you feel sick, so you go to the doctor, and they make you better. You go on living

With this cancer, I felt great, found a tenny lump (less than an inch small).... but, I felt fine. Actually, I felt great. This is me the weekend I found the lump. I went to Cincinnati and Churchill Downs with a friend.

After finding the lump, I was poked with needles, they took samples, squished my boobs, put a needle in me, cut out pieces of me (surgery), and will soon pump me full of poison (chemo), burn my skin (radiation), and then .... let me heal and hope (!) for no recurrence.

....I went from feeling fine to alarming everyone and having to see 100 doctors.

Post-finding the cancer, I ....  

• Have to get shots in my tummy daily (blood thinner, prepping for the chemo)
• Will cut off all my hair (and donate it) to prepare to be baldie for 8 months
• Am stocking my home with chemo-friendly foods
• Have to call the insurance company 400x to see what is covered...and what isn't 
• Visit. Every. Doctor. Ever. 

Okay, just some musing for the day as I prepare to see my surgeon to check the progress of my wounds. Wish me luck!